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Georges Brassens

I’ve not been able to write, and I’m still so stressed, I don’t really know how I manage to stay upright (most of the time).  But as I’ve been getting some adamant requests for more posts, I’ve decided to share some easy favorites of mine.  Videos, links, juicy awesome things to laugh and revel over.  Enjoy this video.  Yes, it’s in French, but the translation is below (it’s line by line so you can follow along), and it came from this truly unique Brassens in translation website.  The singer is the unbelievably beautiful and somewhat talented Carla Bruni, former model, now the first lady of France.  All you really need to know is that this song is by the legendary Georges Brassens, it’s considered so lewd it was banned (and is still banned) from the radio, and the verb “bander” means “to have or to get an erection.”  If you know any French at all, do not use this word in conversation.  It’s very vulgar.  Of course, it also means “to bandage,” so, you know, unless you’re a nurse or something, be careful.

Fernande
Une manie de vieux garçon,
Strange habit of an old bachelor
Moi, j’ai pris l’habitude
I have got into the way
D’agrémenter ma solitude
Of spicing up my loneliness
Aux accents de cette chanson:
With the accents of this song

Quand je pense à Fernande
When I think of Fernande
Je bande, je bande,
It’s so hard, It’s so hard,
Quand j’ pense à Félicie
When I think of Félicie
Je bande aussi,
It’s hard as well,
Quand j’ pense à Léonore,
When I think of Léonora
Mon Dieu, je bande encore
Good Lord, it’s hard once more
Mais quand j’ pense à Lulu,
But when I think of Lulu
Là, je ne bande plus.
There, it is hard no more
La bandaison, papa,
An erection papa,
Ça n’ se commande pas.
Decides things for itself.

C’est cette mâle ritournelle,
It is this popular male refrain
Cette antienne virile,
This long-time virile chant
Qui retentit dans la guérite
Which rings out from the sentry box
De la vaillante sentinelle:
Of the valiant guard on sentry duty

Quand je pense à Fernande
When I think of Fernande
Je bande, je bande,
It’s so hard, It’s so hard,
Quand j’ pense à Félicie
When I think of Félicie
Je bande aussi,
It’s hard as well,
Quand j’ pense à Léonore,
When I think of Léonora
Mon Dieu, je bande encore
Good Lord, it’s hard once more
Mais quand j’ pense à Lulu,
But when I think of Lulu
Là, je ne bande plus.
There, it is hard no more
La bandaison, papa,
An erection papa,
Ça n’ se commande pas.
Decides things for itself.

Afin de tromper son cafard,
In order to beat his boredom
De voir la vie moins terne,
To see his life less gloomily
Tout en veillant sur sa lanterne,
While tending to his lamp
Chante ainsi le gardien de phare:
The lighthousekeeper sings out like this.

Quand je pense à Fernande
When I think of Fernande
Je bande, je bande,
It’s so hard, It’s so hard,
Quand j’ pense à Félicie
When I think of Félicie
Je bande aussi,
It’s hard as well,
Quand j’ pense à Léonore,
When I think of Léonora
Mon Dieu, je bande encore
Good Lord, it’s hard once more
Mais quand j’ pense à Lulu,
But when I think of Lulu
Là, je ne bande plus.
There, it is hard no more
La bandaison, papa,
An erection papa,
Ça n’ se commande pas.
Decides things for itself.

Après la prière du soir,
After evening prayers
Comme il est un peu triste,
As he is a little sad
Chante ainsi le séminariste
The trainee priest sings out like this
À genoux sur son reposoir:
Kneeling at his altar

Quand je pense à Fernande
When I think of Fernande
Je bande, je bande,
It’s so hard, It’s so hard,
Quand j’ pense à Félicie
When I think of Félicie
Je bande aussi,
It’s hard as well,
Quand j’ pense à Léonore,
When I think of Léonora
Mon Dieu, je bande encore
Good Lord, it’s hard once more
Mais quand j’ pense à Lulu,
But when I think of Lulu
Là, je ne bande plus.
There, it is hard no more
La bandaison, papa,
An erection papa,
Ça n’ se commande pas.
Decides things for itself.

À l’Étoile où j’étais venu
On the Place de l’Étoile where I had come to
Pour ranimer la flamme,
In order to revive the flame
J’entendis ému jusqu’aux larmes
I heard moved to tears
La voix du Soldat Inconnu:
The voice of the unknown soldier :

Quand je pense à Fernande
When I think of Fernande
Je bande, je bande,
It’s so hard, It’s so hard,
Quand j’ pense à Félicie
When I think of Félicie
Je bande aussi,
It’s hard as well,
Quand j’ pense à Léonore,
When I think of Léonora
Mon Dieu, je bande encore
Good Lord, it’s hard once more
Mais quand j’ pense à Lulu,
But when I think of Lulu
Là, je ne bande plus.
There, it is hard no more
La bandaison, papa,
An erection papa,
Ça n’ se commande pas.
Decides things for itself.

Et je vais mettre un point final
And I am going to bring to an end
À ce chant salutaire,
This salutary song
En suggérant aux solitaires
By suggesting to lonely people
D’en faire un hymne national.
To turn it into a national anthem

Quand je pense à Fernande
When I think of Fernande
Je bande, je bande,
It’s so hard, It’s so hard,
Quand j’ pense à Félicie
When I think of Félicie
Je bande aussi,
It’s hard as well,
Quand j’ pense à Léonore,
When I think of Léonora
Mon Dieu, je bande encore
Good Lord, it’s hard once more
Mais quand j’ pense à Lulu,
But when I think of Lulu
Là, je ne bande plus.
There, it is hard no more
La bandaison, papa,
An erection papa,
Ça n’ se commande pas.
Decides things for itself.

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Just a quicky – I’m in the “final” stages of my personal statement for grad school.  But I have seen some joyous hilarious videos lately, and I wanted to share!  Happy weekend!

Ah… memories of summer on this cold winter night from the lovely awesome people at Improv Everywhere:

This is old, but I only saw it recently. Enjoy David Beckham playing a prank on the Ellen Show:

Finally, another great product we all need.  Treat your breasts!  A brilliant stocking stuffer! Wink, wink…

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I can’t believe I hadn’t heard of this project or read these books. Created by SMITH Magazine, these books have work by celebrities and plebs alike.  Great fun.  Unique insights.

Genius. Can you write a memoir in six words?

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Don't put pleasure off 'til tomorrow...if you can enjoy it today!

I’m still in New Years mode.  My parents are still visiting in Israel.  As such, every day includes some sort of adventure, for good or bad.  I have so much interesting food and wine news and gossip to spread, but I just don’t have the time and energy. So, I’m making this particular post short.  Juicy chunks of meaty entertainment must wait.

But…I’ve got great links! Enjoy them!

Open That Bottle Night” (OTBN) – is the last Saturday in February, this year, February 27th.  This was started by two of NY’s leading wine critics, and I think it’s a fine idea.  Looking back at the subject of my earlier post, it’s nice that there is an attempt at creating a holiday devoted to “that special wine bottle.”  No more hesitating or excuses for not opening the best!

A Cheeky College Essay” – A lovely little controversy or silly brouhaha revolving around a college essay that was so humorous and loved, that the dean of admissions at my alma mater, the University of Chicago, sent it to remaining prospective students still going through the application process – in order to ease their nerves.  Read this.  Hilarious! My alma mater is famous for its college essays.  There are incredibly creative prompts, the essays inspired reveal the personal side of the applicants, and I know that these are taken into account (sometimes heavily, depending on the student’s academic situation) when decision time comes around.  I personally spent ages writing and refining mine, going through up to 6 or 7 drafts, and at the time I was so proud of the resulting essay, believing it to be the finest writing I ever produced.  And it probably was.

Carpe Diem? Maybe Tomorrow” – Fantastic little article about research into pleasure…and why we put it off.  Basic message – we need to place deadlines on fun – or we won’t have it.  New years resolution to us all: have fun NOW.  A great read.  Let’s hope we can cash in those frequent flier miles, take that vacation, and open that wine…soon.  (with thanks to Bruce for sending it to me)

Champagne, in brief – a nice little history and how-to tasting guide for Champagnes, brought to you by France Guide, the official tourism website.  I like this site.  Don’t know why.  They have catchy little gimmicks like entertaining vlogs, fun quizzes and giveaways.  And I love France.  So it’s cool.  And hey, as far as capitalistic industries go, I’m good with tourism.  Get out there!  See another country (or state or city)!  It’s good for you, and I bet it’ll be fun, too!  In France you can drink lots good wine for cheap(er)!

Fun, beautiful, attractive, and appealing things…to me:

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Usually Facebook applications are incredibly annoying.  I ignore them 99% of the time.  But this seemed harmless, interesting, quick, and non-addictive.  Take a look at a year of my life according to my collected status updates:

Click here if you’d like this program to make one for you, too.

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