Goodness gracious is it difficult to find a decent greasy breakfast in Israel. As delicious and healthy as the standard Israeli breakfast fare is (eggs cooked any way, but usually as omelet or scrambled – accompanied by a large fresh salad, dips/sides – tahini, feta, cream cheese, tuna, fish roe in cream sauce, homemade jams – and fresh bread), I have been craving something more typically American or even British. Something with animal fat, a mixture of creamy yolk, bloody juice, and spicy carbohydrates. Oh, the agony! My kingdom for a proper fry up! And I’ve been coming up empty.
Not that Israelis don’t try. But the couple times I have ordered the “Steak & Eggs,” slowly cropping up on trendier menus, I have been so sorely disappointed to the point where these eating establishments should be ashamed of themselves. I won’t name names. Just be wary. I’m going to keep ordering it until I can create a more comprehensive picture. Honestly, last week I was presented with three pitiful strips of “steak” that was as thin, tough, and stringy as boot leather (I refer to the classic Charlie Chaplin sketch below), topped with 2 overcooked “sunny side up” eggs (the yolks were almost solid), all over “hash browns” that embarrassingly consisted of what I can only describe as a giant lukewarm mound of ordinary fries cut up into smaller segments before being fried – with absolutely no seasoning. Sadly, the best part of this dish was its name – “The Texas Hold’em.” As you might imagine, I politely complained, and still insisted I pay for the entire meal. I don’t believe in something for nothing. It wasn’t the delightful waiter’s fault, after all.
Send me your recommendations for restaurants to try!